..and you do the kind of things
that only Prince would sing about

Bad Touch, Bloodhound Gang

February 6. Tuesday
February 7, Wednesday.

Did you ever get everything you always wanted out of a situation? There have been a couple of times in my life when I have been lucky enough to get it all, the whole nine yards, the whole ball of wax, the big enchilada… One notable experience was getting hired at the hospital, truly a dream come true, everything I was looking for and a whipped cream topping. Well, that’s the way I feel right now. You will have to excuse my hesitation in divulging details, but believe me, Santa came late to my house this year, but made up for it in spades… I know, don’t jinx it… That’s an Americanism though, I can’t recall as a child ever coming across that expression and so my belief in it is limited. Rather, I prefer to revel in the fleeting success which shines on us all at various points in our lives and for lack of a better analogy, to enjoy the sun while it is shining.

I feel like the edge of my world has just fallen away to reveal a whole new dimension that I didn’t even consider existed, like I have been living in a paper house of my own construction and suddenly this hurricane has come blowing through, ripping my environment apart to reveal this beautiful boundless landscape beyond. To say it’s been an eye opener is such an understatement but in essence that is exactly what has happened, I have been forced to see what lies beyond my thoughts, my expectations and my imagined reality.

I have had very little sleep the last 2 days, and have spent a great deal of time getting to know this person on a very detailed level and as corny as it sounds, the more I get to know her and get to know about her the more it drives me to discover and the more it drives me to reveal. It’s as if I have finally found someone not only that I feel like I can be myself around, but who really wants to see that person and whose ultimate satisfaction would be the discovery and possession of the raw essence of who I am. It’s a lot to say, it’s a lot to deal with and yes, it’s been very quick in the offing but sometimes that’s the reality of the situation. Is it possible I am imagining this? No. Is it possible I am blowing this out of proportion? Maybe, but more likely it is my explanation of an extension of feelings I am having, the acknowledgment of the possibility of the situation. The really funky thing is that there is no pressure from either side, at least not yet. I am not in anticipation of any coming, but then again I am not afraid of it if it does. Strange as it may seem for me I am in a very secure place in a situation that is actually very volatile and potentially unstable. It’s partly that feeling of natural progression and unique personal acceptance between the two of us that has made me feel so happy and content and I can safely say right now that without a shadow of a doubt I am truly in the moment with every fiber of my being. I don’t have to project, I don’t have to justify any history, I just have to be… There are volumes waiting to be written on the beauty that this individual possesses, but for the time being, the measure of her beauty as a person can be seen clearly in the illumination of my being.

It’s absolutely fabulous dahhhling….