If one sticks too rigidly to one’s principles
one would hardly see anybody.

Agatha Christie

Towards Zero I

November 14. Wednesday

Sometimes you just don’t realize how much you interact with someone until they are gone. Luckily, their departure that usually means a passing is not the case in this particular circumstance. My compatriot, a guy who was hired at the hospital the same day I was left recently to go to England to live. It was not until he had been gone for a few days until I realized just how comforting it was to have someone with the same frames of reference as me. Sad in a way, although it’s not that I didn’t appreciate or enjoy his company while he was here, but rather I underestimated the hole he would leave when he left.

Speaking of England, there is a chance, slim as it may be that this year will bring a trip to the Homeland for Christmas. Despite the multitudes of planes falling and being forced from the air, I still think it would be a great idea for both Nicole and I to take the chance to get our buns over there to see what is new in the land of Yorkshire Pudding and Pork Pies. Of course, I would like to see my sister’s house since I have never been and in fact, thinking back, I have only spent a total of 4 or 5 days in England since I left there way back in 1986. For those of you who constantly are amazed at how time has multiplied, that’s 15 years ago!

Which brings us to the subject about which I am asked more often than any other… What is going on with Nicole and me? Well, things are fairly spectacular, and I don’t say that because we live a larger than life lifestyle or that we party till dawn every day but rather that I have encountered a situation that I thought would evade me forever. I am actually able to understand someone before the relationship ends. For me this is a major development and in no small degree a function of Nicole herself who has managed to invade me and my standard defenses much like Pussyfoot manages to woo and win Marc Anthony the Bulldog in the Chuck Jones Cartoon “Feed the Kitty”.

Kitty (Pussyfoot) plays with Marc Anthony the Bulldog

Kitty and marc Anthony

In fact, the image of Pussyfoot rubbing her head up against Marc Anthony’s face, pulling his loose skin up so it flops over her head is one of the most adorable things I can imagine and is representative of the affection I feel both for her and for the distance we have covered in our short time together. In fact, I was reminded once more of our symbiotic relationship this weekend when watching Monsters Inc at the theater and I must say that if you haven’t been to see it, or if you think cartoons are beneath you, go to see it anyway. You will most likely leave with a refreshing recollection of what it was like to be a child, or more importantly how critical it is at times to exist as with the innocence of a child.

It’s strange to me to be able to reflect on a relationship and act on it rather than having to reflect and lament mistakes that have already been made. Usually I am left with a measure of disappointment at the fact that I have been unable to see the faults and mistakes or the strengths and benefits until they are past. Not this time however, it seems that we have been able to push so far past each others defenses (the fact that we are identical in so many ways makes it easier) that it is impossible to keep one another at arms length. This apparently is the secret for which we have both been searching… Someone who we are unable to treat with the same degree of indifference as everyone else. Someone who is able to see behind the curtain to the little person operating the big machine and at the same time has the ability to empathize with our reasons for wanting that degree of separation.

Indeed… finding that person who is by the same degree and with the same desire seeking to disengage.