Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand,
but we must build as if the sand were stone.

Jorge Luis Borges (1899-1986), Argentine writer

October 15. Friday.

It all began yesterday. I called a roofing contractor named Nick from Extreme Roofing in Thornhill to come and fix the valley in the roof. It was not urgent and he was called with a week’s notice and agreed to be there, rain or shine, to do the work. Thursday came and went, and after at least a dozen calls there was no sign of Nick, even though at 11:30am I had called to confirm the guy was coming and he assured me that it was all good. My wrath holds in check for vengeance against this little shit. So late last night, the day before we are slated to move I finally get hold of Howard from Canadian Roofing who tells me he will be here no problem at 9am. He was. He came, he fixed, he got paid. However, 9am was when the movers, Noble Moving, were supposed to be coming. Cue the audience groaning as the 9am deadline came and went. I did however get a phone call from the dispatcher telling me that their truck had broken down (um, ya, sure) and that they would not be there until 2pm. I guess it had broken down in someone’s driveway and they were filling it with stuff while awaiting the mechanic… So anyway, I passed the rest of the day by packing practically everything since we really hadn’t packed much before then and spending time on the phone listening to my banker and my lawyer complaining about each other. It got to the point that the lawyer repeatedly hung up on the bank forcing the bank manager to call me with a “No fair… Tell him!!!” Once I told them all to stop behaving like children and sort the stuff out they finally agreed to stop calling me to pass notes for them. This was shortly followed by a call from the lawyer saying the purchaser would not close the deal until he had the receipt from the roof work. He then proceeded to ask for additional receipts for work we had done to which my lawyer told him to F*@% off. The deal finally closed at 4:58pm.

Oh yes, the movers. They finally decided to show up at 2:30pm with the wrong truck and no idea what I was talking about regarding their breakdown. They did a walk through the house and it was blatantly obvious (despite the fact that I told the dispatcher when I ordered the move to provide their BIG TRUCK) that they were not going to be able to fulfill their function with the existing equipment.

Go and get the other truck you frigging idiot.

They returned about 30 minutes later with a bigger truck and moving guy number 3. 6 blindingly slow hours later they arrived at the new house only to find that lo and behold the people moving out hadn’t. At least not quite. By the time that Nicole and I had gone to the lawyers office to pick up the keys (FROM THE MAILBOX!!!) since our Realtor had decided to go out to dinner instead of performing his final function, the other family were gone and our intrepid guys were already loading the garage with our stuff. We instructed them to take the furniture inside and leave the rest of the stuff (hereafter referred to as crap) in the garage. This would be the quickest and easiest thing all round and would mean that we could go through aforementioned crap at a slower pace and distribute it to its rightful place at a later date. As it turns out, this meant me on Tuesday as I waited for the cable guys to show up. So, 8 hours later and almost $1000 poorer we were finally ‘in’ our new house. Of course you couldn’t have squeezed toothpaste into the garage it was so full, but that was OK. I shudder to imagine how big the truck would have had to be to accommodate the skip full of garbage we threw out in the weeks preceding the move. In all there was approximately 400 cubic feet of garbage that we threw out, or a skip about the size of 2 SUV’s.

So we were in, after a horrendous day of mistakes, phone battles and lying SOB’s and there was obviously only one thing left to do… Order Chinese food!