Hahahah…. Just kidding, altough there is a sense of impending ‘something’ now that I know I am about to become a fiance for the first time. I am sure it will be a much greater sense of foreboding when the wedding is about to happen, and that I will no doubt go through the usual male recanting and resistance much like trying to get a cat to go into his cage to go to the vet… Even though we have been together almost 6 years there is still that sense of disruption you get whenever you pass a threshold, no matter how much you are prepared for it or how much you want it. The plan is to ask her parents this Thursday over dinner and then I will have to find a way to actually ask her at some point after that. It will have to be soon after since the gravitational attraction between a woman and her engagement ring is almost planetary…
So does this mean I am no longer single? Or am I in suspended animation, somewhere in the chasm between single and married. I am out on the prep table of life being tenderized before being thrown into the pot. Somehow there doesn’t seem to be many positive analogies for this?? It is not that I am not looking forward to being married, it is more like I have expected to be married my whole life so it is no big deal… At least intellectually it is no big deal. I suppose it is like being in a sitcom where you play the typical part of the resistant guy so that you can get some enjoyment out of the situation the way it has been portrayed over the years. In any case, in a few days this will all be behind us and all that will be different is that Nicole will have a ring on her finger with which to blind her friends. And no doubt I will receive commiserations and the usual depressing banter from the married men in the department about how I have given up my freedom and how my life is over as I know it… And I suppose it is, at least the single part of my life, of which I was only occasionally fond. So I can’t really say that is a downside. Check back with me closer to the wedding and we’ll see just how much of a blind panic I fly into.