So off I went to my pre-op appointment, to meet with the counsellor, to sign the papers and to back out if I really wanted. Since I had spent all morning on the floor of the pharmacy installing the wireless internet modem and router I was tired, irritable and frankly ready to get out of the office and this seemed like a pretty cool alternative. I sat with the consellor and went over all the forms and so on, signing every page and finally whipping out my VISA card to pay for the whole thing. After the paperwork was done and I had my little belt pack with my funky new glasses and my tester sized versions of my eye drops I was ready to be prepped for surgery.
I was taken into the pre-surgery room and they tested my eyes again to make sure all the measurements etc were right, confirming that I have oversized pupils at an enormous 7.5mm! I was then told to sit in the hall to await pre-surgery preparations. Apparently the “prepping for surgery” part comprised of being given a mesh hairnet and told to stay where you are.

I was then met by the surgeon who took me into the room and sat me on the edge of the surgery table and asked if I had any questions, a very common theme over the last 2 days, if nothing else, they sure do want to answer all your questions before you go in! I was fine with the whole deal so he laid me down, put my head in a cradle pillow and proceeded to tape my eyes open. He did one at a time, taping the lower lid, the upper lid and the eyebrow as far as I could tell. Once he had done the taping, he placed the speculum on my eye which basically keeps your eyelids open kind of like this:

Eye SpeculumDon’t however do a google images search for speculum, you will get an embarrassing surprise if you do.

So there I was, eye pinned open, staring at the flashing red light above me which seemed to get progressively more blurrred as he put more drops into my eye. I was told to keep my eye on the red light at all times however as he placed a suction cup over my eyeball the little light disappeared. He then told me I would feel a slight buzzing sound, to which I had visions of a circular saw cutting into my eyeball to create the inafamous flap. The buzzing was quiet brief and he used a small hook type thing to retract the flap. It was at that point that I realized I was without a cornea and was looking out into the world through a very naked eye! Next came the laser light show. He told me I would hear a clicking sound which I did, I also heard the assistant counting out the time of the exposure and I also experienced the one thing they do not tell you about in the brochure or the meetings, I smelled the burning of my eyeball flesh like the smell of singed hair or a badly burned skin. I have to say it was peretty gross at the time. Once the laser was done carving into my eye, he replaced the flap, smothed it out with his metal thingy then took what I can only describe as a mini squeegee and smoothed over the surface of my eye.

That was it. He moved onto the second eye, did the same thing and I was done. I was in there a total of 10 minutes. Once my eyes were untaped, I was told to sit up and put on my glasses and go out into the waiting area. At that point I could not see well at all, it was like looking through an underwater mask filled with water. I put on my stylish shades and headed for the couch. After a few minutes, a woman came and put drops in my eye and then 15 minutes later came back and did the second lot. By this time the anaesthetic was wearing off and my eyes were getting very irritated and light sensitive. I have to say that the 30 minutes after surgery was the most uncomfortable. After 45 minutes I was ushered into one of the exam rooms to check the work and then told I could leave.

I had called Nicole right after the surgery even though I couldn’t see the dial pad very easily and she was ready to take me when I was done. Minute by minute my eyes improved and once I got home, although still extremely light sensistive, I was able to see the housing construction behind our house in fairly clear detail. I spent the next few hours putting drops in my eyes, waking up at 7:30pm thinking that it was the next day and being very confused as to where Nicole was, why it was 730 and why breakfast television wasn’t on. I eventually came to my senses and spent a a couple of hours watching TV and administering dozens of drops of various types.

I finally put my sunglasses on, rather than taping the eye protectors to my face, and went up to bed.