Archive for July, 2010

I used to have style, I swear.

I have been writing blogs for about 13 years now, I have kept a diary since 1983 if you can believe that and once in a while I will stumble upon something I wrote, a snippet of an entry, a nugget of a thought cast off somewhere. I find that my writing nowadays lacks the colour and vigour of the past. I think I am tending towards a factual recording of events rather than an imprint of my thoughts and ponderings. Maybe it is because I actually have things to record and talk about now rather than filling my pages with endless musings and anecdotal fairytales. Either way, I find the change a somewhat disappointing.

I can’t just try to write like that again, the time and space are not conducive to it, however what I can do is try at least to storytell a little more and document a little less. I realize that my background in physical fitness gives me a propensity to factual documentation of my activity but it’s just not that interesting for anyone to read.

I stumbled across OCT31=DEC25 today. Something I left as a scribble on a digital paper once. I was fascinated by it and couldn’t remember for the life of me what I meant. Good thing we now have Google, the mystery is no more but it brought me back to a journal entry about nothing. However, it was entertaining because of it’s style. In a similar way to Seinfeld, things about nothing aren’t necessarily boring, they can in fact be wildly entertaining.

I’ll just have to slip a little nothing into my entries from now on.

The first month

Things that I now know to be true. Some I did know, some I didn’t, some I was under a false impression.

1. Baby poo isn’t that bad.
2. Changing a diaper is nowhere near as traumatic as I thought it would be. In fact, it’s pretty easy.
3. You don’t have to run to the baby if she cries. She won’t explode if she cries for a few seconds while you finish what you are doing.
4. Breast feeding is almost as traumatic for me as it is for both the baby and the mom.
5. Babies come in all sizes and all temperaments. What someone else’s baby did or does probably won’t apply to you.
6. Bath time can be fun for the whole family. As long as you don’t take crying or what appears to be nuclear level trauma personally.
7. Let sleeping babies lie.
8. Babies don’t breathe or do anything else like a normal person. They aren’t really people yet, stop freaking out.
9. It’s true that milk protein causes phlegm. Breast milk doesn’t but when protein formula will make your baby sound like an asthmatic hamster.
10. You don’t need to be afraid of holding the baby, act like you have a tray of draft beer or a football and you will be fine.
11. Watch the giant head, you need to be careful of the neck at all times, as funny as it may be when she headbutts you in the chest.
12. The cone head, as alien as it may be, will pass. Even if it is like a bullet in the beginning, don’t panic.
13. Don’t peek over the curtain during the c-section. There is nothing you need to see down there.
14. The baby rolls will come. Even if your baby is small to start, there is nothing you can do to stop them growing.
15. Fresh air = pee. Watch for this and don’t be so quick to pull that old diaper away.
16. Love your wife and child. Even if you can’t do anything else from fear, overwhelm or bad organization, the least you can do and the best you can do is love your new family.